We’re pleased to announce that independently owned 2914 Coffee just opened one block south of the Flourish Counseling office on 25th Avenue.
They’re open 7 days a week from 6 am to 6pm. They serve locally roasted coffee, pastries, a limited sandwich menu and…wait for it…. Little Man ice cream!
While at our office please remember to check street signs for parking restrictions. Due to our proximity to the stadium, parking restrictions are generally enforced anytime there is an evening or weekend event at the stadium.
13. Lying.
Everyone lies once in a while about small things. If your partner routinely lies or if the lies your partner is telling result in you getting in some sort of difficulty, that’s a clear indication of toxic behavior.
None of these signs is a stand-along indicator that you need to send your partner packing instantly, but any of them or groups of them should tell you that you need to take a very close look at what’s going on in the relationship an at least be cautious about any further involvement.
Anyone can make a mistake. But if these behaviors are part of a pattern then the pattern should serve as a warning that you are in a relationship in need of a careful assessment.
Excerpted from “Emotional Unavailability” by Bryn C. Collins, MALP
12. Double binds.
A double bind is a situation in which, no matter what you do, you will be wrong. Everyone experiences some double bind. A good example might be that you hate your job but if you quit you will have no money. If the double bind always comes from your partner, however, it is a toxic behavior designed to keep you always off balance and always wondering.
11. ”Yes, but….”
If you hear more excuses than explanations and if every confrontation is deflected with the words “yes, but…,” you are dealing with a person who is unwilling to own his or her behavior. A person who needs someone to blame for everything is unlikely to be a good candidate for a partnership.
10. Black-and-white thinking.
Lack of flexibility in your partner’s thinking can spell trouble for you. If he or she is unable to see any gray area, then you have very little room to make mistakes before you are condemned as wrong or bad. This means your partner might very well be toxic.
Excerpted from “Emotional Unavailability”
9. Put-downs, insults and teasing.
A little loving teasing is not a bad thing, but your partner persists in saying hurtful things to you in public or teases unrelentingly, this toxic behavior is designed to put you in a one-down position. If you have been repeatedly teased and insulted and put down, confront your partner. If the teasing persists, your alarm bells should be ringing.
8. Commitment phobia.
If your partner of long standing still is unwilling to commit to the relationship in a formal way, you may consider this a warning that they may never be able to make a commitment.
1. Cheating, affairs and/or unusual sexual practices.
People who demand acceptance of unusual sexual behaviors, including affairs, as a prerequisite to being in a relationship are a bad bet unless you subscribe to exactly the same set of rules. I’m not talking about the occasional foray into Frederick’s of Hollywood garb, but rather practice like S&M or bondage or other destructive behaviors. If you tell your partner you are not comfortable trying something and he or she persists, be warned that this behavior is possibility toxic.
Excerpted from “Emotional Unavailability”
6. Addictions.
If a person is unable or unwilling to break an addiction to drugs or alcohol, you need to make the decision to end the relationship. The person’s relationship is with the drug, not you, but you will pay for it if you stick around. If the addicted person wants the relationship with you bad enough, he or she will be willing to get clean and stay that way. Making this clear to him or her is your only weapon - don’t hesitate to use it.