I am a big fan of using therapy and coaching in my own life to help me make conscious decisions and live as fulfilling as possible. I recently went in to see my own coach and I scheduled the visit because my husband had shared some really important feedback with me about some patterns that I bring into my life that were affecting how I show up in our marriage.
I was really concerned about his feedback and so, as I sat down with my coach, I was quite serious about the topic, but I wasn’t 100 percent convinced that my husband could be right. I mean…the man’s only known me for seventeen years; certainly, he can be wrong.
Then my coach did exactly what I paid her to do: She called me out on my patterns that are getting in the way of my happiness. She told me that HE was 100 percent right and that I needed to go home and tell him so.
As I was sitting there with my coach and she was confronting me, there was a small piece of me that was tempted to argue with her. But when there’s a pattern or a cycle in my life that continues to repeat itself, I have learned over the years that I am the common denominator.
I knew that I could try to deny my accountability in this situation, but that would be the equivalent of continuing to beat my head against the wall. So long as I deny accountability, that pattern is going to repeat itself in my life.
Now, let’s be honest. – Taking accountability is not always as fun or as easy as blaming somebody else. Here’s the interesting thing, though: When we take accountability for our own role in the situation, then that actually puts us in a position of power. We can’t control the choices and actions of others, but we absolutely can control our own behavior. We can choose to do things differently. And, ultimately, that’s how we free ourselves from negative patterns – by owning up to the role we’ve played in it and endeavoring to show up differently.
I am a big fan of using therapy and coaching in my own life to help me make conscious decisions and live as fulfilling as possible. I recently went in to see my own coach and I scheduled the visit because my husband had shared some really important feedback with me about some patterns that I bring into my life that were affecting how I show up in our marriage.
I was really concerned about his feedback and so, as I sat down with my coach, I was quite serious about the topic, but I wasn’t 100 percent convinced that my husband could be right. I mean…the man’s only known me for seventeen years; certainly, he can be wrong.
Then my coach did exactly what I paid her to do: She called me out on my patterns that are getting in the way of my happiness. She told me that HE was 100 percent right and that I needed to go home and tell him so.
As I was sitting there with my coach and she was confronting me, there was a small piece of me that was tempted to argue with her. But when there’s a pattern or a cycle in my life that continues to repeat itself, I have learned over the years that I am the common denominator.
I knew that I could try to deny my accountability in this situation, but that would be the equivalent of continuing to beat my head against the wall. So long as I deny accountability, that pattern is going to repeat itself in my life.
Now, let’s be honest. – Taking accountability is not always as fun or as easy as blaming somebody else. Here’s the interesting thing, though: When we take accountability for our own role in the situation, then that actually puts us in a position of power. We can’t control the choices and actions of others, but we absolutely can control our own behavior. We can choose to do things differently. And, ultimately, that’s how we free ourselves from negative patterns – by owning up to the role we’ve played in it and endeavoring to show up differently.