The Quintessential Playlist for a Break Up or Divorce
Angela Sasseville, MA, LPC
Music has such a powerful way of meeting us where we’re at in life. When a significant relationship ends, a playlist of appropriate tunes is a “must have” to accompany the emotional upheaval. Here are a baker’s dozen that tie in nicely with the strategies you can use to get yourself through.
Strategy #1 Grieve the Enormous Loss:
Download:Turning Tables – Adele
Humble Me – Norah Jones – This entire acoustic album soothes a weary soul.
Last Day of Our Acquaintance – Sinead O’Connor – A commentary on the small ways that partner’s stop connecting and the bizarre formal ritual of ending a marriage.
Strategy #2 If You Aren’t Good at Setting Boundaries, Do Something About That:
If you’ve stayed too long & tolerated too much mistreatment in the process, channel your inner diva, set some fierce boundaries, & insist on moving forward with your life. These ladies will show you how.
Download:365 Days – ZZ Ward
Irreplaceable (To the Left) – Beyonce
Strategy #3 Acknowledge Your Anger:
Your anger is here for a reason so give it a soundtrack. Instead of suppressing it, let it course through your stereo and through your body.
Download:White Blank Page – Mumford & Sons
Hell and Back – The Airborne Toxic Event
Strategy #4 Keep Your Sense of Humor Intact:
Take a moment to be snarky about all of the sex that you have NOT been having during the past several months. And allow yourself a moment of sarcasm if your financial settlement has you reeling.
Download:(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction – Rolling Stones
Take it All – Adele
Strategy #5 Learn the Lessons that This Ending Brings:
Download:Next Girl – The Black Keys
“My next girl, will be nothing like my ex-girl.” Make a commitment to yourself to learn how to do relationships differently next time. UNLESS you do the deeper work to identify your relationship patterns & the role that you played, statistically speaking, your next girl will actually be A LOT like your ex girl. So vow to learn from this experience and consider hiring a coach to shine some light on your blind spots.
Strategy #6 Notice the New Hope Dawning:
Things may not be Ok right now. But they will be.
Download:Tainted Love -Soft Cell – Close your curtains, crank up the volume, & let yourself sing along.
Cecilia I’m the Satellite – Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness – This heartwarming piece was written not about a lover but about the birth of the songwriter’s daughter. Parents, during this time of loss & transition, recommit yourself to your kids.
It’s Only Life – The Shins –Dedicated to every one of our beloved clients who’s relationship has ended recently. “I’ve been down the very road you’re walking now. It doesn’t have to be so dark & lonesome. It takes a while but we can figure this thing out, & turn it back around.”