Today, I want to talk to all of you moms who have ever felt that tension between the mothering side of you (which wants to have lots of time with your kids), and the other side of you (which has a life and identity separate from your children and/or career pursuits that sometimes feel they are in conflict with how involved you’d like to be as a mom).
After 18 years of parenting, I wanted to share with you the concept that has helped me the most in coping with that tension. I’ve decided that motherhood is like a book with different chapters…some chapters are shorter than others and some chapters are harder than others. For example, I think most women would say that that first chapter, after giving birth to a new baby, is titled something like “Survival: How Taking A Shower is A Victory in and of Itself.”
But I’ve decided in this book of motherhood, every chapter gets to have a different title. For example, after driving my kids around for their first 16 years of life, I was thrilled when my eldest got her driver’s license, and could start sharing that duty. During that time, I made a conscious choice to title the next chapter of my life something like “Killing It at Work.” And while I chose to delegate the driving to her, I was thrilled to regain some hours of my life to devote to my career. Well, now that said teenager is getting ready to leave for college in the fall, I find I am entering a new chapter needing a new title. The chapter I’m entering now is “Play with Them as Much as You Can Before They’re Gone.”
It’s a conscious reprioritizing about what I decide is most important for each chapter, and it’s also helpful for me to remember that, when a chapter is hard for me or I feel like I’m missing out on another part of my life, it will come to an end. There will be time for a new chapter, and the difficult chapter cannot possibly last indefinitely.
If that resonates with you, what would you like to name this chapter of motherhood?
If you want to learn more about how you can show up for yourself while being a parent, give us a call today at 303-455-3767 x5 to set up an initial consultation.